We’ve adored Lauren Aquilina for as long as our ‘lil brains can remember, so we couldn’t turn down the opportunity to catch up with her about her new single Tobacco In My Sheets, the perils and trappings of the music industry, and the creative benefits of getting slightly pissed with your best friend.
Hey there Ms. Lauren Aquilina. Did you ever think you’d be back making music as a solo artisté again?
‘No, to be honest. I mean, I only really started thinking about it this time last year: that was when the seed got planted in my mind that I could maybe come back and do this again.
‘When I quit the first time, I definitely thought ‘never again’… But, then, Psycho came along, and things changed a bit.
‘I mean, there was definitely a sense of ‘this could never, ever be for me’ while we were writing it, but I felt such a strong connection to it afterward; more so than anything else I’ve ever done, in fact. We did try to pitch it out to other artists, but I think it’s one of those songs where there’s so much personality in it, it would be hard to find another artist who might want to do it without changing it – and, I really didn’t want that to happen to the song.
‘I guess it was about seven or eight months after writing it that I called my management and said ‘Guys, I really want to release this song, but I understand if you don’t wanna manage me through this process because that is not what you signed up for’. But, they were both really excited, and probably even more excited than me – so, we started putting a plan together for it to come out, and now here we are.
Despite your initial desire to shy away from the spotlight, you’ve just released a track that you said is probably the most lyrically raw thing you’ve ever released. That seems… Well, odd.
‘Yeah… I think that one is probably one of the most honest songs I’ll ever put out. It’s really difficult for me to write about stuff like that, and I guess that was the advantage of not being an artist for a while. It allowed me to write songs that I thought nobody would ever hear –or at least, never hear with my voice on. So, in a way, being an artist allowed me to be more honest with my writing, because I could kind of hide behind the mask of somebody else’s voice in a way.
‘I think most of the songs I write are honest, but Psycho and Tobacco In My Sheets show two very different sides of me. I mean, I’m always… To me, songwriting is always going to be an exaggeration of a feeling. It’s like taking one feeling and trying to make it into this three-minute thing, which in itself isn’t entirely natural… But, it’s nice to be able to do both of those kinds of songs, but to still feel equally connected to both of them.
Do you tend to go into a writing session with – or for – another artist with a view of ‘I’m going to be detached from my own feelings and try to put myself into their shoes’, then?
‘Usually, if I’m going in with another artist, they’ll bring the mood. They’re driving the ship that day, so to speak, and I’m just there to help. I can usually tell if it’s a ‘good’ artist by how much of a leader they are in the session. Obviously, they should be open to other people’s ideas and to collaboration and stuff, but I find it more difficult to work with artists when I go in and they don’t know what they want to talk about in the song that day.
‘If an artist says to me ‘I don’t know – what do you think?’ then I’m usually a bit worried. I just think that any of their songs should be their story and should come from them, so I’ve gotten quite good at putting myself in other people’s shoes for that reason.
‘I feel like art should be an extension of whatever it is you’re feeling, but at the same time, there is an element of not wanting whatever you’re creating to sound like anybody else. Obviously, it’s a tried-and-tested formula that some songs do well, and that people like certain kinds of songs – but, at the same time, I think the kind of art that I wanna create is something that is different, and feels more authentic, even if it means that you’re going to offend some people or piss some people off. It’s about being true to what you have to say because that shit’s gonna live on forever, y’know? I think it’s important.
You took a four-year break from being an artist. How much of your hiatus had to do with the industry itself, and how much had to do with the fear of performing live, etc.?
‘It was a mixture of things. I’d had some pretty crazy shit happen to me as a teenager that I can’t really talk about, but I was in an abusive relationship that lasted for about three years, and I had some crazy people on my team who were manipulative, and… There was just a lot going on, and by the time I kinda got out of everything that I needed to get out of I didn’t really have the energy left to fully commit to the music.
‘Then, because of that, my relationship with my record label became a little bit strained, and by the time the album came out, everyone had kinda seen that it wasn’t going the way we hoped, and basically the money tap had been turned off. I had to cancel my festivals that year; I had to cancel my album tour; and, I had to cancel my promo, all because it just cost so much money.
‘After that, I basically ended up sitting in my flat, alone, for six months, just doing nothing, which is just a recipe for depression for anyone.
‘So, by the time that album came out, I was in a pretty dark place, and I knew that the only way out of it would be if I made some pretty huge changes in my life. I left my label, I left my management at the time, I broke up with my boyfriend at the time, and I put up a Facebook post that basically said ‘I’m quitting music’.
‘At that time, I really did intend to fully quit music. Luckily, the guy who’s now my manager emailed me about a song I’d written that Kylie Minogue wanted to sing – and, because of that, he kept asking me if I had management. For a long time, I was like ‘thanks, but I’m not looking to be in music right now’… But, he eventually pestered me into meeting with him, and I really liked him. Then, when he suggested to me that I could just be a songwriter – which is something that I’d never really thought about – I thought ‘well, I’ve got nothing else to do, so I might as well try it out for a few months’.
Is there an album/tour/all the usual bits of a ‘modern campaign’ in the works, or is this a ‘fuck it, let’s just see how it goes’ kind of project…?
‘I’m definitely working towards an EP right now, and one that will… I mean, I’m saying ‘summer’ to myself, but hopefully, it’ll come out at some point this year. I’m trying not to rush myself, as I feel like I’ve set the bar really high for myself in terms of the three songs I’ve put out already this time around. I’m super-proud of them, and I don’t want to release anything that I’m not equally proud of – so, there’s definitely a high level of quality control going on right now.
I’m just kind of trusting the process and not putting too much pressure on myself to complete a body of work; but, there’s going to be more music, more shows, and more touring happening as the year goes on. I haven’t done a UK headline tour – like, a proper one – for about four years, and I really enjoyed the US tour I’ve just done, so that’s definitely on the checklist for this year.
Do you know the best part of that entire answer? That you’re having fun again! You’re actually enjoying it…
‘Yeah! It’s crazy because I’d never really enjoyed touring that much before, but I think it comes with me liking the music so much more, and me having way more fun performing it because I feel so much prouder of it. I think it also comes with me being older and much more confident now… It just feels really nice, and that it’s all on my own terms again, which is really cool.
‘Even the artwork and visual direction of the releases is entirely down to me this time, which is nice. The artwork for my last single was actually shot by my best friend, Chloe, who came over one night and we had two disposable cameras and just played around. She did my make-up and my hair and shot loads of pictures of me on disposable cameras. When we got the photos back they were all pretty much unusable apart from the one shot that became the artwork – which, thankfully, is actually a shot I really love. It’s probably one of my favourite pictures of me, actually.
‘I guess it all worked out in the end?